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Household Brachiate Furnishings |
These highly attractive wall and ceiling mounted handholds come in granite,
oak and industrial bronze. All three come smoothed for daily use; these are
ideal for the primate in your household.
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| Hunter-Whooper Missiles |
Plagued by whooping madmen? These shoulder mounted Hunter-Whooper(tm)
missiles will solve that problem. Their automatic near-sonar "whoop"
locator system will eradicate any pesky whoopsters nearby.
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| Trouser Mounted Whooping Snake Chaff |
Hunted by people with Hunter-Whooper(tm) missiles? These
whooping snakes are the perfect defense. Kept warm and active in your pants,
they are ready for deployment as distractive chaff with one single loosening of
your zipper. Their playful simulated "whooping" noise pulls lethal
missiles off your track, sacrificing only a handful of these self breeding
serpents.
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| Sponge Monkey Drink Mix |
Equal parts Vanilla flavoured Vodka, Kahlua, Creme de Coca, Creme de Banana and cream.
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| Lifetime Guarantee Thought Enclosure |
No more resorting to moromancy or other rediculous schemes to safeguard your
sanity; with this hansome chrome-alloy and aluminum-inlay full-head shield
your thoughts will be yours forever more. You'll never worry about mind control
rays, fungal based brain theives or brain eating interdimensional rodents; this
total skull encasing is the total protective measure for you. Rated for attacks
up to 42 PSI. Breath valves for mouth and trepan hole extra.
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